On the Journey of Grief

* * * * * *

On such a journey, we travel individual paths,
through varied stages....

In loving memory
of my husband Ron:
May 31, 1926 - June 19, 2000

* * * * * *

September, 2000

Missing You

The fist of time
holds pungent hours
crumpled in its grasp;
I breathe their wistful scent
across the threshold of our past. . .

Behind a curtain, moments hide
to pounce with brutal force:
I glimpse your face
in mindweb drifts
but cannot touch the source.

The days resume their frantic pace
and problems surge anew;
but poignant pauses
wrap around
the essence that was you.

* * * * * *

January 2001

Winter Chill

I shiver in the darkness,
reach for warmth I cannot find,
as hollow echoes filter down
through layers of my mind.

I marvel at a sunset,
turn with eagerness to share -
but empty shadows mock my urge,
for you're no longer there.

I chuckle for a moment
at a comment on TV,
and wait to hear your echoed laugh -
the way it used to be.

Your gentle, loving gestures
that I cherished through the years
intrude upon my thoughts
and I dissolve in bitter tears.

Your strength was my support,
I knew you'd never let me fall;
but you're not here to hold me
when I need you
most of all.

* * * * * *

Mornings After...

From fathomed sleep,
as rippled thoughts
imprint their pale design,
a brief, translucent wave
will lap across my waking mind.

A vision warmed by love
imparts the flavor of our years:
I sense that all is well -
my world is whole
and you're still here.

My tears refute its promise -
you have gone.
As time moves on, I'm so afraid
this fleeting glimpse
will slowly turn opaque.

* * * * * *

February 2002

Valentine Shadows

On floating threads, small memory notes
still hover near; their edges torn
by winds that ripped away the tune
but left the song for me to mourn.

Red roses drip their molten scent
through dreams now bent on brittle stalks;
each year I watch their petals fall
along the path where darkness walks.

Soft murmurs rest in folded cards
on scrawled inscriptions love entwined,
and shadows hide in ribboned lace
when just one heart is left behind.

* * * * * *

May 2003


In sporadic drifts, memories
flutter down, like skeletal leaves
in slow motion -- fragile whispers torn
from the branches of yesterday.

Sometimes, your love-warm echoes
snuggle for a moment on my shoulder
before I tuck them gently
in a pocket of my mind.

But nights are infused
with the sodden weight of loss;
I pour my loneliness
across the threshold of dawn

and wait for your voice
to swim back to me.

Legacy of Love

Love does not forsake us
when beloved souls move on;
it trickles through the door of time,
renews its ageless song.

          You left for me a melody
          that softens my despair:
          it floats in notes of joys we found
          on journeys that we shared.

Love does not neglect our pain,
it spreads a healing peace;
we climb the stairs of memory
as courage is released.

          You left for me a gentle touch
          that reaches through the haze
          to smooth my jagged edge of loss
          and mend my broken days.

Love will never lose its strength
nor dim its sturdy light;
it's kindled by the hand of God
who keeps it burning bright.

          You left for me a star of hope
          that flickers through the dark:
          I use its steady glow to warm
          the chill within my heart

Season of the Wind

Furrowing along our decades,
we ducked in and out of shadows,
strolled through sun-tipped grasses
and braided our harmonies in the wind.

Suddenly, your voice is gone.

A chilling darkness rolls in to fill the gap;
I curl up against your memory,
seeking warmth.

Outside, a willow weeps barren tears
and calls for spring
to fill her emptiness.

But my seasons have been swallowed
by a solitary gust of wind
that circles the heavens.

And the air is heavy
with colors of remembrance.

© Laryalee Fraser

Page 2, the greyness...